Wonder- Hillsong United

Friday, September 4, 2015

Where is Everyone?

I was just looking at the graph displaying the number of visitors coming here to read.  It has varied from the 30's to (yesterday) 7.  Not that long ago my visitors were in the 100 range daily.  The only reason I can guess is that I went for quite a long period of time without posting, when i was recently ill.  Is it that? Or are you all sick of hearing about my eventless life and my physical struggles?  I do not know but I have asked myself if it is perhaps time to roll up the mat and give it up.  Have I ceased to accomplish my goals in writing?  That begs the question,  "What are my goals in writing?"

  1.  to  share my love for Jesus
  2.  to enlighten people as to what autoimmune diseases are and how destructive they might be.
  3.  To get the weight of the world off of my chest and "spread the love"
  4.  To hone my skills as a writer.
  5. To dispel the myths surrounding schizophrenia

I wonder.  When I'm gone (departed from this broken body) will people come here and read the musings that accompanied my life?  It would be great if my family were to attempt to publish a book of these musings. I just checked.  There are 894 posts in this blog--enough for several good sized books.  But that is probably just wishful thinking.

Back to the question at hand.  Do I continue to write?  Or has the level of interest dwindled irreparably?  Maybe the issue is not one of readership.  Maybe it is just a place to spill my guts and alleviate the crowding in my brain. Honestly I cannot bear to think of my life apart from this blog.   If you come and share my thoughts and the events of my life, that is great and  you are welcome.  But if  no  one reads?  It has veracity just because it IS and  it attests truthfully about my thoughts and struggles.  Maybe when I'm  dead and gone people (family) will come here and drink at the fountain of my slobber. (LOL Gross image. Sorry)  Maybe they will get to realize that  I am more (or less) than who  they thought I was.  I don't know.

All I know is that I need a place to be real...really  ridiculous ...really forgetful,.... really funny...really NOT... really.reflective, spiritual, prayerful,

Oh well I guess you can see that I will continue to write because I have no choice. I am compelled.
So beloved readers...be assured. I am not dead.  I am not gagged and bound.  I am here hoping you decide to come back and once again share my life.  It is too heavy a burden to bear alone.







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