In my last post (which was way too long ago, I know) I asked you to pray about the insurance snaffoo that had threatened my infusions and also threatened us with an impossible bill for past infusions.....Well the other day I was on the phone with the insurance company....and they told me that that very day the issue was being addressed. Last that day I got a call from the insurance company telling me that the problem was no longer a problem...that past and future bills were being taken care of --at no cost to me!! PRAISE Y'shua!! Thank you --each one of you-- who prayed for me.
This week we had another answer to prayer. Our fourth member of our family is a silver/gray Russian Blue kitty named "Mayo"....Several years ago Mayo was deathly ill --we found out she had stones in her bladder. It required a very expensive surgery....and as she is our beloved friend, we felt we had no choice but to try to save her life. At that time, there were funds available--it was something we had to strain our finances to provide...but it all worked well. Mayo recovered...but was severely traumatized ....every time since then that we have had to take her too the vet ....she hyperventilates and vomits out of her distress....So we have tried to avoid taking her, even though she probably should be checked.
Well this week she had urinated on the floor -- which she never does (except when she had stones) and seemed to be ill..was hiding under my bed and just wasn't herself. I prayed for her --and God heard...she has seemed to recover...possibly she passed a stone...or maybe God healed her. It is also possible that there was nothing seriously wrong with her. But at any rate...she seems to be okay now. And my heart rejoices that once more God's eyes were on the sparrow....there is no need too small for my Lord.
I apologize for the length of time between entries. I got out of the hospital on the 10th of July with a total of one month between the month and a half in June and July when i was hospitalized. I half been struggling with confusion and memory loss--maybe caused by the meds, but my husband feels that is it deterioration caused by SZ (schizophrenia).. i don't know about that: which is worse? Dementia or SZ? I feel that even more likely it is the result of being on massive doses of many types of medicines. Anyway. I've had my head buried in the sand. i have begun to write a daily log...not really a journal but a daily accounting of where I've been and what has happened to me. A chronology of medicines, doctors, hospital stays and ailments not meant for any the eyes of anyone but just for me to remind me of things that i need to recall.
Right now I am considering terminating the home care ---I do not really need it any more. I am not using the O2 as much and I know I am extremely weak but need to just push myself to do more and more....maybe to resume the driveway walk.....although this week...on monday I had to walk the length of the driveway to move the garage cans from the middle of the drive...and I barely made it in...VERY winded...so I will have to be very careful about attempting that. Maybe I will ask my PT person, before I dismiss them,, to help me walk the driveway...slowly and see how I do.
that's the external.
The Internal? - the spiritual?
I have fallen two months behind in my 'Bible in 90 days" ...I do not know why...it is so easy to miss one day...and then another...and then another and before i know it I'm hopelessly lost. And too the same with prayer. SO easy to only come to the feet of Jesus when I need something. I drag myself like the bleeding woman. and desperately touch his robe.....When really, had I been walking with him all along, there would be no need to such desperation. Isn't that the way it is? Our Source: our very breath--are rooted in Him and when we cut off the supply...when we follow diversions....when we seeks other things, then we find ourselves to be fallen sparrows rather than mighty warriors; no less recipients of his grace and love....but how much more useful might we be were we carrying out our position as His warriors....how much more good might we do in the spiritual realms?
So that is where I find myself. Falling and scrambling to grasp his hand and to be pulled once more to my feet and once more to his side and to receive his healing and his embrace....
...Won't you join me there?