These Four Walls

I apologize for the honesty of my last post.  I would not say that I really have a death wish....the Glory to come is in my thoughts and I am eager to experience that.  As for this life: pain speaks.  But I was challenged today as I read the email for today from  Open Doors ministry.  These daily emails bring stories of incredible bravery and lives that are so totally committed to God that NOTHING, no torture devised by man, can sway.  I am not chained in a dungeon nor starved nor beaten.  Yet, yes, I have severe pain constantly.  Is not this my dungeon?  Is not this the test to my faith?  Why do I waiver?  I do  not think it is entirely wrong to look ahead with eagerness. I'm sure those in prison do also.  But they know that they have a job to do on this earth....and even in prison they amass converts and begin churches.  Am I about my Father's business?

How can I be reaching out to others while homebound?

• My writing is one way.  I need to work harder at getting articles etc published...I have them written, but have not published them.  Also need to market my book more successfully.

• Being a light on the internet and sharing the Lord's peace and joy with my online friends.

• Being faithful as a prayer warrior.  Being consistent and following through with offers to pray for friends.

• Having friends over for tea.  Sadly, this has not gotten off the ground.  People are simply too busy to stop and join me for tea.  OK.  It is what it is.I will still pray for them.

• And displaying joy and courage in the face of pain....and a refusal to blame God or feel sorry for myself.. 

• Being a patient, loving and consistent wife and mother--this is perhaps my greatest challenge, harder than the pain I endure.

 So yes.  There are things I can do. It is easy to let the days slip through my fingers with nothing to show for it.  I need to invest myself into "redeeming the day."  Prayer.  Prayer is my #1 weapon and method of influencing the world in which I find myself.  The world within these small walls....which are nonetheless -larger than  the boxes in which my brothers and sisters in the persecuted church find themselves chained --are my prison and my Command Central. 

Lord Jesus, Help me to suffer with Joy.  Help me to rely on your peace.  Remind me to live a life of Gratitude.  Give me courage to reach out to others with the news of the Life you offer.  And forgive me for complaining and wasting Your precious time.  I only have this life in which to construct my Eternity.  Help me to be thankful and industrious in the face of that.

In your most precious and holy Name,

Amen.