How Great is Our God in HEBREW,

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Prayers within and without

Today a Pastor friend of mine (who was a friend before he got called to be a full time pastor) met with me accompanied by a friend who is also a warrior in prayer.  We went to my now favorite "watering hole"  which is a coffee shop /thrift shop all for the benefit of the local food pantry....It has quirky design for its decor....made up of vinyl records and also record jackets of some of the world's most well known jazz and blues artists.  There is also a liberal amount of the work of the artist who's shop/gallery is right upstairs from the thrift store...And nicely, the proprietors are all friends...children run about but are well behaved.  And the lady artist is the girl friend of the male collage artist and they also help to run the shop

That's a long introduction but fairly necessary for where I'm going with this.  My pastor friend has met with me twice so far with the woman friend accompanying him, the first time in my house...but family was up and about here so we decided to go instead to the coffee shop.

So after talking for a while and drinking some beverages we began to pray; the pastor on my right shoulder and the lady friend's hand on my left shoulder and at a pause I opened my eyes and to my amazement, the lady proprietor had seated herself by my lady friend and had her hand on my friend and her head bowed in prayer.  I was surprised and pleased.  I don't know what this lady's faith background is but she followed her inclination to join us  We then chatted briefly before leaving.

I needed the prayer.  I don't recall if there was prayer for my physical and constant pain but I know there was prayer for wisdom as to what treatment to pursue.  I also wanted prayer that God would begin a work in my heart and life. That he would move in the backho's and the dump trucks and begin to chisel out for myself a whole gallery of art out of the stone in my heart.  I know that I want to BE much more than I am now.  I want God to hold no punches ...I know that is a scary thing to pray.  And the answer to that just may involve our septic tank which we found out today, needs some serious attention.  And that is not even counting the number of things this house needs in terms of maintenance ...there is a LONG list of things that are really critical if we do not soon attend to them.  But these emergencies like the septic and pluming leaks and coils blowing on the water heater...and even the cat joining in and requiring $1000 in surgery.  It is impossible to do construction on a dam when you are busy plugging holes.   AS soon as you get one plugged five more spring up.

All this to say, we may have to move.  But this house will have a very hard time selling and we have very very little equity in it...I do not know what our options are---I don't want to breathe the word "homeless" but it's playing an ugly tune in my brain.  I would not survive two days away from my hospital bed and my recliner. The pain would be impossible to survive.  Is there  a way to avoid it?  Prayer.  Trust.  more Prayer...more faith.  And maybe it is this journey that will open my eyes to what God is pointing at in me that needs attention.

I know that my prayer life has been spotty.  I don't have much of an attention span and my brain has lost the ability to focus for long.  I have been wanting to pray more.  I don't think that first thing in the morning is a good time for me anymore.  Those hours are wracked with pain and I often have trouble staying awake then.  And at bedtime?  I'm toast.  Out for the count.  So maybe this hour...the hour after dinner and the hour or two before bed....I know that this is at the moment a difficult time to pray....I'm in so much pain...I cannot carry on a conversation.  Just groan " Lord Jesus have mercy on me"  And maybe that's all he demands of me for now.  Maybe one by one I can pray one word prayers ...Pardon.  Mercy.  Faith.  Goodness.  Gentleness. HELP .  And then watch to see how he answers those basic need prayers.

Sounds good to me.  Going to go now.  Bate my hook and fish for mercy.
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