Chris Tomlin O Come all Ye Faithful

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Room for Sorry

Today I felt .....blah.  I slept til 9:00 (which only sounds really late when you consider that I go to bed at 7:30 or 8:00) and then I didn't feel like showering. I really had to shower because tomorrow is an early start due to a doctor appointment and I don't feel like getting up at 6:00 to get in the shower.  Finally I showered but I put on a pink short-sleeved zippering bathrobe or house dress and that has been my uniform for the day.

My father suggested that I am depressed.  I don't think I am....I'm not having any of the awful thoughts that go along with depression.  I don't feel suicidal. I just feel......blah.  Now I know that chronic blahness can be classified as depression.    I'm trying to avoid the rabbit hole with all of my power.  The Pit is ominous and I'd rather be plucked bald than go there again. 

Speaking of bald.  My cat is losing her coat.  Not a little shedding.  MASSIVE handfuls of hair are coming off of her.  As well as big chunks of dried skin.  She's not scratching.  And other than not liking the mouth full of hair she gets when she grooms, she seems comfortable.  My cat has a beautiful grey/blue coat and it is heart breaking to see her lose it.  Anyway.  That has nothing to do with depression or the pit....just with me being plucked bald.

And now that I've lost my train of thought I'm a homeless hobo on the empty tracks watching it crawl into the distance.

Homeless.
 No. don't go there.  Don't follow that train.  It goes right off a cliff.
So where to then? 
My mind is blank.  Dead stare.  Dead silence.  Dead deadness.
I don't know what to say. If you are looking for scintillating conversation, you've come to the wrong place. I don't know whether or not to click the "Publish" button.  I'm so very sorry to have wasted your time.  Maybe I'll just click "save" and leave it at that.  No, maybe you deserve to know the truth: my brain has vacated the premises. So "Publish"it is.  There's lots of room for sorry later.
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