Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Unknowns and the "Knowns" of Pain

I've been thinking about suffering again.  (Its hard to expunge that thought from your head when you are sitting smack dab in the cauldron of pain.)...and my father sent me a link to Tullian Tchidivijian's blog for yesterday.  (Both my dad and I are currently reading Tullian's book, "Jesus+Nothing =Everyting" as you may have gathered from all the quotes I've posted from him.)

yiankriti on Photobucket
In this post by Pastor Tullian  on the topic of suffering. (I'll give this link also at the end of this post), he said  that we tend to either moralize or minimize suffering---and that neither response is a kind one to those who are suffering. Assigning or assuming guilt and trying to read into God's handling of one who suffers is not a fair assumption to make.  While unconfessed sin may lead to suffering, it is equally possible that it exists, "That God may be glorified" as Jesus spoke of the man born blind and also of Lazarus's death.  Sometimes God wants to work in bigger ways than are immediately apparent.  And these ways may not involve healing.  Sometimes just to see a person rejoicing in Jesus or merely being steadfastly faithful to their Lord, even under a heavy weight of suffering will bring God as much glory or more than a spectacular healing.

Pain that goes on and on day after day can make it tough to break into a grin and say "I'm GREAT!" when asked how we are feeling.  And to be told by well meaning people that they too have some pain or other, generally is not helpful...even though the intentions may be good. But you know what?? The knowledge that God in the form of Jesus suffered immensely more than I: that helps.  The knowledge that his is right here; right now in my suffering with me: that helps.

One of the hardest experiences I've had with pain was not even for my own pain.  My young daughter (in kindergarten at the time), fell off of the monkey bars in our back yard and sustained a really severe, displaced buckle fracture.  We sat with her pain in the ER, where they bandaged it and gave her a shot for pain....but then next day we had to go and see an orthopedic doctor.  And he told us that it had to be set.  He sent my husband from the room (told me men can't handle it), gave my daughter an injection to numb her (which it didn't.: She's her momma's girl) and then proceeded to grasp and twist and pull that poor little broken arm to the accompaniment of bloodcurdling screams from my little one.  She called out my name, "MOMMY MOMMY make him STOP!!" and my heart was broken. All I could do was to hold her tight to my chest and say, "It has to be done....but it will be over soon....and then you'll feel better."

Do you see where I"m going here?  There are things in us that are broken and it hurts to have them fixed.  God often has to hurt us to heal us....And sometimes we don't know why .  Sometimes it seems senseless and cruel and we think, "He is God for pete's sake! Couldn't he come up with an easier way??"  But  you know. He knows the best and the straightest paths.  He is working within the confines of a broken world filled with sinful people...So no, we do not know. We do not understand.  All we can do is to trust that HE does know. And he certainly does understand.  And we can be assured that on nights when I"m sitting on the edge of my bed in tears as this lady in the illustration is doing...God, my FATHER , is right there beside me...and he weeps with me as he assures me that soon, very soon...this pain will be no more.

Pastor Tullian in his blog, said that to moralize or to minimize suffering--our own or that of others, is a disservice.  I say, "AMEN"... He also said
Both the moralizing and the minimizing approaches are attempts to keep suffering at bay, to play God. It is safe to say that when our faith (or lack thereof ) feels like a fight against the realities of suffering instead of a resource for accepting them, we are on the wrong track.
 The fact is, the only sane means of dealing with suffering that I have found to be real are these:
1  Acknowledgement of the pain.
2. Hating the pain,
3  Understanding that, although it may make no sense to us, God has a purpose for that pain and will accomplish positive things in our spirit and character if we allow him.
4  Rejoicing in the full understanding that as we lie on our pallet of suffering....Jesus lies right there beside us.  As I told you when my hip was dislocated, Psalm 22 assured me that "All his bones were out of joint."  We do NOT serve some removed , distant God who has no internal language to explain or experience suffering.  He went before us in it and walks beside us in it.
5 And ultimately, suffering should be whetting our appetite for heaven; where it will no longer be a tool used by God or by Satan; where it will have completed its work in us--ground off our rough corners, and honed our faith to a rapier sharpness; and where we will receive all the reward coming to us for comforting others from the platform of our own pain in order to help them get through their own long nights and anguished questions.

The fact is, God does not usually give us a written manifesto as to why he is allowing our pain. Our only honest response can be confusion, questions....and ultimately, yielding to and a commitment to completing the race and a great need to lean on him for moment by moment strength.

I will close  with another quote by Tullian Tchidivijian.

We may not ever fully understand why God allows the suffering that devastates our lives. We may not ever find the right answers to how we’ll dig ourselves out. There may not be any silver lining, especially not in the ways we would like. But we don’t need answers as much as we need God’s presence in and through the suffering itself. The truth is that when it comes to suffering, if we do not go to our graves in confusion we will not go to our graves trusting. Explanations are a substitute for trust.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/2012/08/09/explanations-are-a-substitute-for-trust/

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