Taking a Step--Away from Independance

Today I did something brave.  Or desperate.

I called an assisted living center (ie: "nursing home")....I did this prompted by the sure knowledge that I will not be able to 'manage' at home alone following my shoulder surgery.  I am not sure, however, that I"m ready to pack my belongings and move into a single room with my life....for the rest of my life.  That idea will take more getting used to --and more desperation--than I am experiencing now.  I did find something interesting though.  There is nursing home, with relatively good ratings (see I checked) near to where my husband works..and five to ten minutes away from all of my doctors....and they have a program called a 'day program' where you go just for the daytime....and in the evening you go back home to sleep in your own cozy house.

This idea carries some appeal.  It is during the time when my husband is at work, that I will most need assistance in self-care and maintenance.  It would be nice to go someplace where I wouldn't have to be alone...and where, if I needed something, there would be staff available to help with it. And as the lady at the "center" said, if I am having any doubts about  my ability to remain home thereafter, I would be able to be more closely assessed and would receive the nursing home's input in that regard as well.

I liked that.  And I liked the "sleep in your own bed" part.
I called my insurance company....just for a "look/see" and found that, if the facility is not a rehab center offering me daily rehab; and if they are only there to assist in ADLs (activities of daily living), then no, they do not pay for that.  I guess then it would be up to my Medicare coverage to kick in.  BUT, I do not have Medicare Part B (yet) which is the part necessary for that coverage and...without Medicaid to pick up the slack...I would likely end up paying the percentage that Medicare doesn't cover.  ...Which could be a significant amount.

I really need some advisement here.
I'm not going to qualify for  Medicaid (at least not without a HUGE spend down) while I'm married and my husband is working.  Once more; it's a  case of "a little too much and a lot not enough." in terms of our income and financial status.  If he's been unemployed, it would have been easy. Nothing like being punished for being productive.!  My daughter is already cursing his job also because as she attempted to look into financial aid for college---even though she no longer lives with us--Daddy's income counts against her.  Why does no one ever subtract our expenses from that nice, 'big' income figure???  If they were to take into account our medical expenses alone, we would be teetering on the poverty line, I'm sure.

But no.
It doesn't work that way.
Why?
Because that would be uncomfortably close to fair...that's why.