I have spent the majority of the past week in bed, grounded by spinal pain--and in the past two days, without internet on my laptop due to network problems...So I lay down until the pain subsides to a roar and then when I have to...or when I need to change position, I get up and wander about the house or go on the living room PC for about ten minutes...and then pain escalates once more and it's back to bed.
It has been growing progressively worse...I'd gone in the past year from spending up to five hours at church on a Sunday morning to only being there for an hour...And lately, that hour has become more and more agonizing. I spend so much time squirming and shifting my weight back and forth, seeking a bit of relief...and then finally exiting to pace in the lobby, that I've gotten precious little out of going. I don't even get to talk to or visit anyone, because pain demands I leave NOW, right at the end of the service.
This realization...that my days there from now on will be few and far between...fills me with immense sadness. Church was the high light of my week...So now I am left to worship...just me and God, here in my room...I find that YouTube is of great help in this for me...I have a good friend who always sends me videos of music to watch and she picks some excellent ones. Please listen to the following two as they've meant a lot to me this week.
This one is by an artist named Ginny Owens, who is a new name to me, but whom I will definitely be following henceforth:
If You Want me to- Ginny Owens
Yes, I can say to him that "I will walk through the fire if you want me to," but those words have taken some time in coming readily to my heart. God is patient and he loves me...and he's allowed me to travel through a bit of sadness and tears this week, but he's been with me through it, speaking through music very often. I am laying my future...and each day at Jesus' feet, because that is the only way it can be endured.
And now, my greatest urge is not to cry...but to worship. May his name be forever praised!
At Your Feet by Casting Crowns:
Another favorite one of mine is the one I've embedded at the bottom of my blogpage. It's probably my all time favorite...When ever you need a lift, or a reason to lift up your hands to the heavens..stop by and give it a play!