(Writer's note: I have the unfortunate reaction to anesthesia of being confused and a bit, well, psychotic, following a major surgery. The following blogs were written while suffering from this reaction, so it is not my typical illness springing up.)
I don't know where I am on that invisible scale with 0 being locked up and bound in restraints (you get the picture) and 10 being my functioning at the fullest capacity that my physical state will permit. Maybe I'm somewhere around a 5. I know that it's kind of silly to rate one's own sanity...but maybe for me , it is a good thing to do. And that is simply because I sometimes post a post like the last one I posted and then follows a few days of silence, and I'm sure you assume that I've decompensated down to a 0 on that scale. And truth be told, sometimes that honestly is a possibility. However, USUALLY the case is that I just needed to spout or leak some craziness to once again restore my internal balance of sanity to insanity. (Forgive me for using such old and stigmatized words as "sanity" and "insanity"...better to say "wellness" and "ill-functioning" or some such thing....I really never was one to heed politically correct verbiage. I just assume that my readers are educated enough not to be led astray by the old ridiculous images that such words would bring to mind. If I am crediting you with too much intelligence, then please send me an email and let me know,....and I will make greater efforts to control my fingers on the keyboard).
ANYWAY, like I said, sometimes I do need to spout a bit...and it does help to write my thoughts, which do not quite fit the house-with-the-white-picket-fence-image, down and let them smell up the internet rather than my own head. And once I can breathe again, I can re-assess life and self...and sometimes I can see that it is MY LIFE and the people in it who are the ones with the issues....and not so much me... And believe me--even if thosepeople do not address their issues and do not get the help they need...I do not feel so out of controll and crazed (BTW: if you are in my life and know me personally, NO THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU!! Okay, are we all comfortable again?? Good, now let's get on with today's post.
oh....ummmm.....maybe that WAS today's post...
OKay, well, see you again soon. :)
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